Close proximity and numbers breeds distance
When ever I read something about travelling on the London Underground it normally bemoans either how unfriendly and unsocialable Londoners or at least Southerners are compared to Northerners (South of England versus North of England), or how inhuman the tube is with its delays and smells and delays and works and delays and crowds and delays, did I mention delays? The most frustrating thing in the world is when some depressed person decides to end their life by throwing themselves in front of an oncoming train. Oh the ensuing chaos on the platforms, and delays.
What would pass as national headline news in New Zealand barely gets a mention in the local suburban daily. Twice in the two months I have been here I have been stuck on an over-crowded tube in the dark compressed between a hundred other grumpy people because some one decided to throw themselves horizontally rather than veritcally. I say only twice because I don’t know what the euphemism ’signal failure’ means when it is announced over the loud speakers. In the media it is the great unspoken, but from a Londoner’s perspective it is: “I got delayed an hour between Warren and Euston Street stations! How inconsiderate!”.
My itinerary tonight was as follows: a couple of drinks for a friend at work’s birthday followed by Ella’s (Sean’s girlfriend) ‘I’m going to Pakistan to work as a sub-editor for a big daily’ going away party. On the tube leaving work I noticed a couple next to me taking a photo of themselves which is the international symbol for tourist. I offered to take a photo of them and did the big underground No No! I made eye contact and engaged with another human being about something that was not a complaint about the tube service. Ignoring the ‘how dear you strike up amicable conversation stares’ from our fellow passengers I proceeded to make best of friends with Ruse and Jasmine. Both from Gothenberg in Sweden she living in London he visiting but being here recently to shoot a short film which he is studying long distance is hard but she is moving back home in a couple of months they have been going out for four years London is cool it is very cosmopolitan wanted to make a film about an arab looking guy with a backpack lost in London looking I forgot my lipstick that is alright honey for where he is supposed to go as social commentary on the current situation (and not so subtley me, me being Ruse who looked of Turkish decent) Did you miss your stop? Oh no it is fine I can change at Bank. Oh yeah cool we are getting off at Angel and yeah there are lots of cool clubs around old bank so lets exchange numbers wait I don’t know my number oh you know yours well I’ll put yours in my phone It’s Francis right? cool well I’ll text you when we are out later see you later on okay chao chao.
I haven’t heard from them yet. Now I would never think to do that - take someones number as a show of I value the conversation we had but I’m really not going to call you at all. This city is so impersonal - if you struck up a conversation with every eligible friend you bumped into you would end up with a thousand friends and no way of keeping up with them all. To stay sane you have to de-personalise yourself from those around you, don’t make eye contact on the tube, especially don’t make physical contact unless compressed in rush hour on the tube, in which case you are allowed to make a joke about, even some polite conversation. And you can be flippant about horizontal jumpers delaying your journeys.
Update: I am so wrong, Ruse messaged me to add him to his facebook account :) Friendliness is not dead! But people still jump in front of trains, the poor conductors.
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